If I could hold back time,
I would hold back the rain,
The first rain that wet your hair,
So you wouldn’t straighten your tresses so elegantly.
If I could hold back the rain,
I would make myself like you, easily amused.
If I could find one good reason, to stay away from reason,
If only I could change the tale of time.
If I could walk a step and not see omniscient pain,
If I could hear the rain as I hear you,
If I could let the world in as I let you ,
I would break these impossible walls.
But alas, holding back the rain we mortals cannot do,
So I become I as you become you .
But if I waited in that first rain again,
Would you still so elegantly straighten your hair?
I don't know why I wrote this.All explanations are welcome
All poetry comes from somewhere and more often than not, it's an emotion we feel intensely (probably a bit too intensely). Nonetheless, it's a beautiful poem. I love the vividness and simplicity of this piece. Keep writing! :)
ReplyDeleteI love those straightened tresses in the rain. What simplicity in that menory.
ReplyDeletethe rain often makes us real, straightens things out..not just the hair... cool metaphor here
ReplyDeleteOh, this is beautiful! Where did it come from? Inspiration? The Muse? I don't care, so long as it came (and I got to read it). :)
ReplyDeleteyes , the muse set it off... but now the muse and i donot talk. I guess I'll have to wait for the rains to watch the muse straighten hair
ReplyDeleteThis feels so truthful--those rain straightened tresses take the speaker back to yesterday or to decads ago--if only!
ReplyDeleteI love how the image of the hair runs through this piece..very effective
ReplyDeleteWondering if the rain is going to be just as friendly and helpful. The yearnings for love can never be fully satisfied. Great thoughts Suyash!
ReplyDeleteHank
What beautiful homage to the one loved as their every movement is a treat to the eyes...and mind.
ReplyDeleteExcellent, the cleansing power of the rain, if only we could control then we too would be like God, beautifully written.
ReplyDeletesome things are beyond our control. what ifs - if only. ah. those are difficult to answer.
ReplyDeleteWe cannot stop the rain, even if we would wish to....and some walls we cannot break through either. We "mortals" just have to keep moving forward though, doing what we can do and accepting our limitations.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me think of some films where it pours and pours and because nobody can hold the rain the characters' fate is changed.
ReplyDeletethis was lovely... a gentle write... though a bit sad
ReplyDeletethere is something very freeing about being willingly drenched in the rain, luv the sentiments expressed here
ReplyDeleteHave a happy Sunday
much love...
"So I become I as you become you." This is an intriguing poem, with the touch of mystery that makes poetry so wonderful to read, leaving us free to imagine......
ReplyDeleteI just love the romantic lyrically in this Suyash - I shall be back for more - for sure! With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com
ReplyDeletethanks scott :)
DeleteI don't know either but it was a stream of consciousness that was well captured... go figure :-)
ReplyDeleteZQ
Beautifully expressed. There are moments when those impenetrable was seem to vanish, but only in fleeting moments that can never be recaptured.
ReplyDeleteWhat a interesting image you've conjured.
ReplyDeleteits a fun one...nice progression...the rain is a great leveler...hard to stay beautiful if the rain is pelting you...then again it gets us beyond the superficial
ReplyDeleteI love this very much. Poetical, thoughtful, passionate. But really we have the experience to evolve, to learn some lessons, to strive to become the highest us...So good that you were moved to review, rewind the past...now maybe the best idea - to let it go to look forward to new songs, new winds, new rains and ...new pain...
ReplyDeleteI love the way your focus cycles back to that still-moment in time like a snapshot of the woman fixing her hair. Nicely gathered.
ReplyDeletei question as to why you ask? like Hannah said, this is a snapshot of one of your moments in time. isn't all of life just that?
ReplyDeletei enjoyed this very much
Did something change when he/she straightened her hair? I believe it may mean more, like something from a dream.
ReplyDeletethe narrator wants to make all these changes for this lady i the rain... so if he takes all this time to make all those changes ( which is always a very tumultous process) , will the lady wait for him just the same, or move just like the rains give way to summer
DeleteI feel like the speaker wishes her to know that he wants her as nature made her--nature and untouched. But if she changes because she wants to, then he loves her enough to understand that it is the best thing... and perhaps it will be best to change with her and become something together. I really love this.
Delete"...I become I as you become you." Growing into themselves together; that's lovely!
ReplyDeleteThis is a nice expression of how rain can bring on strong emotions. Personally I felt this was a love poem, or at least the wanting of love but didn't quite receive.
ReplyDeleteThought provoking for sure. Rain always carries such emotions with it. You used it beautifully here.
ReplyDeleteWhen the muse speaks we record her voice. There are many," I don't know why I wrote it" poems on my page. This has such a sense of yearning to it. It seems love didn't survive raindrops. :)
ReplyDeleteAn unanswered question there...
ReplyDeleteAnd a beautiful image there...
Amazing!